TV Taught Me How to Feel
by torncorpse
Summary: LJ Prompt; Danny is turned into a woman. And that's only the first of his issues. Contains genderswap, crack and curses. Rating for language and adult content. Eventual Steve/Danny -with female Danny.


TV Taught Me How to Feel

It happens while out with Kono; if Danny were to try and figure out now why he'd been out with Kono, he wouldn't actually be able to say because his entire world sort of filtered into something else all together. Dealing with mojo loving old crones isn't something Danny is used to –batshit crazy spinster ladies sure, mojo crones, not so much. Either way, walking away from the ridiculously horrid house along the beach, suspect cuffed and neatly put in the HPD squad car, Danny isn't exactly listening to said old crone as she blasts them for taking her son, yelling a whole lot of who knows what at them.

Kono blushes a few times, she flinches and looks around like someone just told her all the surfboards were getting impounded, but she doesn't say anything at all. Danny waves it off, ignores the woman and gets in the car, waiting for Kono to follow suit so they can head back to HQ and wrap up the case.

But Kono is tense and twitchy and Danny doesn't really want to ask, but he knows he's going to. "Okay, what was that about?" Kono just glances at him, like he's as crazy as Steve and just suggested they take a drive into a volcano.

"She cursed us," and Danny manages to not laugh because he's just dumbstruck at how it sounds like Kono actually believes this. "We have to do a cleansing, okay, so we'll go to my Aunts house before we-"

"No, okay, no. No cleansing, no family thing, no weird mojo or whatever. Seriously? You seriously buy that? Some old bat says a bunch of insane chanty things and you want to cleanse?" Danny really doesn't get Hawaii and its customs, and this is just one reason why he doesn't want to.

"_Danny_-"

"No, there is no way I am getting all up in some ancient and most sacred crap, okay? I will drop you, you can indulge in your delusion, and I will do your paperwork because I think you have heat stroke or something, but I am not dancing naked around a fire to stave off the most horrible of curses."

Kono looks like she's ready to hit him, and later he wishes that she would've.

00

Waking up usually isn't an issue. Danny's bed isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, Danny's alarm is the most obnoxious thing ever and for some reason he feels like he's crushing his own chest, lying on his stomach.

The panic attack only comes when he's standing and his boxers fall off his hips because they suddenly don't fit and he has boobs pulling his t-shirt just a little tight over his chest. He spends half an hour hyperventilating in the bathroom before he manages to shoot a text to Kono to _please, please, please come over_ and then he just sits on the floor, completely ignoring the mirror and not looking.

Kono does come over, it takes her an hour and she's damp, so Danny figures she'd been surfing. Letting herself in, she gives a shout and he manages to get out a reply that brings her to the bathroom, where she stands in the doorway and stares at him. "You- I don't- You're a girl?"

"I hate this island."

His voice isn't too different, a little less rough, still his accent thank the Gods, but he can tell it's definitely feminine. For all intents and purposes, it seems like his body just suddenly went through a process of gender altering and Danny cannot believe that this is his life, because he has boobs, and his penis is gone, and his jaw is smooth and he most definitely does not know _how_ this can happen.

"You should've come to get cleansed, brah." And it's just infuriating how right she is. Kono does take enough pity on him to stave off another panic attack, talking him through it and declaring that they can fix things, because he really, really, really doesn't want to be a woman, thanks. No offense, but his life is crazy enough without having to deal with a different gender at thirty-five.

Kono leads him out of the bathroom –because sitting on the bathroom floor is not dignified at all, and sits him on the edge of his bed. He has to hold his boxers up, and keeps tugging his t-shirt down, because there are boobs, and he's so not ready to deal with that.

"Okay, I have some pants you can borrow, bikini top, maybe a cami. It'll do for now." Danny has to fight the urge to crawl under the covers. "Sit tight." Kono vanishes for all of three minutes and Danny already feels another panic attack coming on. When she gets back with pants in hand, she holds up a bikini top and the pink cami thing towards Danny, "I don't know if this will work, but it's worth a shot?"

Danny does not make a comment, he takes the clothes, he wanders into the bathroom and he absolutely gets dressed with his eyes closed.

"I told Steve something came up, you're with me."

"Where are we going?" Danny really doesn't want to leave his apartment, he wants to crawl into bed and hide until he wakes up and everything is normal again. But Kono isn't having it.

"Aunt Nali will know what to do." And Danny should feel comforted, because that is a good thing. But it means this isn't the first time it's happened and Danny just hates Hawaii a little bit more for that.

00

Aunt Nali tuts at him. He should've gotten cleansed, that's the whole thing, they just keep going on about it. Danny ends up lying on the couch, holding a pillow over his head and letting Kono talk things over with Nali. Danny just wants to ignore everything.

Nali insists that they need the crone. Danny really doesn't want to have to deal with it; Danny really doesn't want to believe any of this is happening. But Nali is adamant that they need to, that Danny has to accept things. Danny would like to shoot Nali.

They leave Nali's place and Danny still doesn't feel all that happy with the situation, but Kono says she'll handle it. "Okay, Chin and I will go see her, you can just do the paperwork and it'll be sorted as soon as, right?"

"Wait, what?" Because Danny does not want to go to HQ today, or at all if he is all woman and stuff. Danny would like to avoid places where there are people until he is himself again. "I'm not going to work, I'm taking the day, how could this not qualify as a reason to take the day?"

"Because you promised you'd do my paperwork." And Danny knows right there that Kono is evil.

"Look at me! I can't go to work like this!" For one thing, he is a female. For another he is not at all properly dressed. He has flip-flops on his feet for crying out loud.

"You look fine, you look kind of cute." Danny just leans his head against the dash and prays they die in a ball of fire before they reach the 5-0 HQ. "Look, I'll explain things; Chin and Steve will be cool, brah. Chill out."

Danny would like to punch something.

00

Steve is completely fine. Steve is a damn prince. At least after the initial meeting.

"Hey Kono," and Danny sees that smooth slide of charming slot onto Steve's face the minute he spots them, "who's your friend?" And that was absolutely Steve giving him the once over, and not at all subtle about it at all.

"Oh my God, you are a pig. How do you function? How is this my life?" Danny grits out before stalking away into his office and slamming the door. He sees more than hears as Kono tries to explain things to Steve and Chin, leaving with Chin just a few moments later and leaving Steve standing in the main room like he's lost his dog or something. Danny is deeply appreciative when Steve leaves the HQ all together.

It gives Danny time to get his paperwork –and Kono's, sorted and processed. He decides it's in his best interest to leave out 'and then I work up a woman' in his report, for the sake of his sanity and his continued existence. Danny makes it an hour before he hears Steve coming back in.

The knock on his door is tentative and Steve sticks his head in like he's ready for it to be blown off. Danny considers it, until he notices Steve holding something behind his back, and really, Danny wants to know where Steve vanished off to for an hour. "Peace offering?" And Danny figures its okay to accept, because he can lord this over Steve later.

"Depends on the offering." Steve brings out a cup of Kona coffee and a bag of malasadas, smiling sheepishly. "Yeah, okay." Danny's finished the paperwork anyway, and Steve breaks out the boyish grin as he lays out Danny's offering on the desk.

"I'm sorry about the- well, you know."

"Hitting on me? Yeah, sure. I get it; I'm a hottie, whatever." Danny is not going to go into it, he just isn't, because he has more than enough to deal with, he does not need to add 'my partner thinks I make a hot girl' on to that list. "How the hell you got the nickname Smooth Dog I do not know." Except Danny has talked to Catherine, and frankly, Steve has to have some game if he could pull the wool over her eyes.

"So, um, are you doing okay?" This is exactly the kind of awkward conversation that Danny was hoping to avoid by staying away from the general population at large and just pretending it was all a dream. But the coffee makes him less tetchy, and he has malasadas, so he lets it go.

"I'm a woman, Steve. I woke up as a woman. Besides the two panic attacks this morning, all things considered, I'd say I'm holding down the fort." Except that thrum of panic is constantly under the edge of his control, he's fairly certain that it could fray at the drop of a hat and that does not bode well for him at all. Being turned into a woman is bad enough, he does not need to have a break down in front of his partner and boss as well.

"Well, Kono and Chin are going to fix it, right?"

"Right." Steve just gives an awkward nod and then leaves, heading into his own office to stare at the toolbox contents again. Danny does not miss the way Steve keeps glancing through into his office, but he does not acknowledge it in any way.

00

"What the hell do you mean, she's gone?" It figures that life would not be easy for Danny at all. Chin and Kono return without an old crone and Danny is still a woman and he's pretty sure his voice broke a little there.

"Everything's packed up, nothing in the house, no sign of anything. She's just gone." Danny feels the onset of the panic attack; he can actually feel himself start to hyperventilate.

"Look into it, find out where she could've gone, anything. Just find her." Steve gives Kono and Chin a nod and they sort of scurry off while Steve uses his hands on Danny's shoulders to direct him into Steve's office and down onto the couch. "Come on, Danno, its okay, just breathe." Steve presses a bottle of water into Danny's hand and commences rubbing soothing little circles into the base of Danny's back, all the while talking in the infuriatingly calming tone to get Danny to pull back on the full blown freak out.

When Danny finally stops freaking out, he is acutely aware of the fact that he just broke down, like he wasn't supposed to, in front of Steve and the whole team. "Fuck my life." Dropping his forehead to his knees, Danny just keeps taking those steadying breaths, not saying a word about Steve's hand on his knee or the rubbing against his back. Because it's soothing, that's all. It's soothing.

"I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"That, well, that you're- that this is- I mean,"

"Jesus, you get me shot and I have to force and apology out of you, this happens –which you for once have nothing to do with, and you're the one apologising? That doesn't seem a little bit screwed up to you?" Not that Steve has ever been logical at all anyway. "Oh God, what if they can't find her? Kono's aunt said it had to be her, if they can't find her, how the hell am I supposed to get back to normal? How is this supposed to work? I can't do this, I cannot deal with-"

"Whoa, slow down; breathe, c'mon, no more hyperventilating." And Danny really hates how Steve can be calm right then. "It's an island, remember? She can't have gone far, we'll find her, we'll sort it. You'll be you again soon enough." It should bug the shit out of Danny that Steve is the voice of reason, but really, he's just soaking up the reassurance then.

00

Steve is not always cool as a cucumber however, which is also reassuring.

"So, Kono said you might need, um, clothes. You know, girl clothes." And Danny just has to peer at Steve from over the top of his computer right then because Steve is actually the most awkward thing in the world right then. "And she wanted me to give you these." And Danny will forever remember the sight of Steve blushing furiously as he handed over a bag of woman's underwear for Danny.

"Um, wow, okay. Thanks." Danny isn't blushing just as badly as Steve, he can tell because Steve is still averting his eyes, but it is just a little bit embarrassing that Steve –his partner and boss, Steve- is handing him over lingerie. "But, yes. I am currently wearing Kono's surf back up."

"Um, if you want, Mary left some of her stuff at the house, you know. It might fit, if you want." Danny is fairly certain that this is the most ill at ease he's ever seen Steve, and that includes around small children. It would be amusing if it wasn't all because Danny was suddenly a girl.

"Yeah, okay." But that can slide right now, because Danny doesn't want to go shopping for chicks things, and he can't live in Kono's trade offs, and he has no desire to call Rachel and find out what size she is and if that works out in his favour at all. Which just brings a whole lot of details screaming back to Danny and he's oh so very glad that Grace is on a trip with her school and he won't see her for a week, it was a horrific thought just yesterday, but now it's like a small blessing wrapped up in a lot of heartache.

"C'mon then, there's nothing else we can do here." And it works out rather well, because this means Steve can drive him home later, since Kono picked him up earlier. Only, Steve drives to Danny's apartment first.

"What are you doing?"

"Pack a bag or something, you need to stay with me until this is sorted out." And Danny doesn't know where it said that at all; no one mentioned 'requires constant supervision' as a term of this stupid little hocus pocus crap. "So, pack up some stuff, get the car and get over to my house."

Danny should argue. He should pitch a fit, have a yelling match and inform Steve that he cannot just order Danny about like that. However, he is slightly worried about the potential issues of his new not-male body and frankly, having someone there if he sparks yet another panic attack might be a pretty good idea. So Danny gets out, goes inside the apartment and tries to figure out just what the hell he might need.

He ends up with a towel, his toothbrush, a set of his own clothes –because when he does get his body back he is going to be prepared, a comb and that's pretty much him. He doesn't think he needs gel for his hair, because it's slightly longer and just happens to suit the messy almost curls that his own hair just never would. He figured it was just another example of his shit luck.

Driving the Camaro slower than normal, Danny puts it down to nothing more that his own mind being elsewhere; he is not driving more carefully because he is female, he just is not. Arriving at Steve's, Danny does his usual and lets himself in, leaving his pathetic excuse for a bag at the door and heading through to the kitchen where he assumes Steve will be; when that is a bust, Danny checks the lanai, the study and the laundry room at the back before heading back into the main room, "Steve?"

"Upstairs." Danny finds Steve in what had to have been Mary Ann's room, now transformed into some kind of guest room. Steve's already changed the sheets and has the items of Mary Ann's clothes out on the bed. "Um, you should try them on, or something, yeah?" The bag that Kono had given them is sitting on the floor by the bed and Danny just nods, because he really can't think of much else to do.

Forty minutes later, Danny sulks downstairs, casual in a pair of sweats and tank top that he's decided he can sleep in. "You sister has no professional attire at all." Steve seems to smirk before he catches sight of Danny's glare and stops himself.

"So no ties to work?"

Danny throws an apple at his head.

00

In the morning, Danny is still a girl, and going through the morning routine in a girl's body is just a little bit daunting. He showers with his eyes closed but has to give up when getting dressed, because it's complicated putting a damn bra on when all he's used to doing is taking them off. The fact that he has to go to work in a pair of dark denims and a white tank underneath a black Henley is annoying the hell out of him, not to mention he's stuck with the flip-flops because Mary Ann's shoes are just too small for him and all she left were heels. Danny is not wearing heels.

Steve stares at him when he comes downstairs, and for a second, Danny's wondering if he forgot something about 'woman stuff' but dismisses it when Steve sort of blushes again before clearing his throat. "I made breakfast."

Breakfast includes coffee, so Danny just enjoys it, even if it is healthy crap that Steve insists on keeping. Danny just manages to finish his breakfast before Steve's phone rings.

"Yes, Governor." Danny really hates his life. Because Steve keeps shooting him little glances and its pretty much a given that they have a case and Danny hates the fact that he's either going to have to bail out and leave the team one down, or suck it up and go to work as a woman. He really hates that it isn't even a choice, because God only knows what Steve could get up to without supervision. "Um, that uh, that shouldn't be a problem. But Detective Williams is-" Danny just shakes his head, batting the blond hair that falls around his face away he does so, "you know, never mind, it's fine."

Danny picks up the dishes, setting them in the sink and putting his feet into the flip-flops and hell if he needs to run today he's going to kick the things at someone. "What've we got?"

"Are you sure you're up for this?"

"Steve, just tell me what we've got."

What they have is a missing van, two bodies at the depot and a shit load of missing explosives. Why the hell anyone would transport explosives in a van, Danny has no idea, but apparently, the company thought they were being sneaky and smart. Instead they seriously screwed it up and now there are criminals out there, with guns and no qualms about using them, with enough C4 to put a hole in Kilimanjaro. Danny already hates the day.

His hatred only gets worse, because everyone seems to hit on him. Danny's about ready to punch someone when Steve just steers him out of the way and tells him to calm down. It's a testament to just how fucked up things are, because Steve is being rational and Danny wants to toss people over the dock edge.

They get I.D's on their two DBs, a Justin Ratcliff and Louis Maeve. They can't find anything beyond a run down apartment in Ratcliff's name, but Maeve seems to have properties out in Waimalu, which took Danny and Steve out there for the duration of the day. It's nice; because no one in Waimalu realises that every other day of his life, Danny was a male, they just see a female cop and a slightly unhinged Navy SEAL. Questioning four people leads them to a small upstairs apartment that neighbours say was Louis Maeve's residence.

Wandering around his apartment in an attempt to find clues is increasingly dull and just mildly boring. "I don't think this guy did anything fun at all. Ever." There was no sign of a television, not sign of a radio or even any books. "Are we sure he actually lived here? Was he a Mormon or something?" It doesn't make any sense in Danny's opinion. After all, he has a shitty enough apartment but he still manages to make it look lived in. "Where the hell are you? This place is not that big." Danny doesn't so much find Steve as find Steve's legs, dangling from the ceiling as he crawls up through a trap door in the ceiling of the room. "What the hell are you doing?"

"There's something up here," there's a shuffle of Steve's hips and Danny moves out of the way just as Steve slides down from the ceiling, glancing up and then towards Danny. "You might fit."

"Might? I might fit? I'll tell you-" Danny trails off with a sigh, glancing up at the hole in the ceiling and just shaking his head. "Right, fine. Gimme a boost." And Danny holds his hand up to stop any of the short jokes, except it doesn't look like Steve was about to make one and Danny doesn't know if he should appreciate that or take offence that Steve won't mock him while he's a girl. Danny presses one foot to Steve's thigh, Steve holding to his hips as Danny pulls himself up through the hole, and Steve's right, as a female, Danny is small enough to fit into the crawl space. "Stay where you are."

"You see it?"

"Yes, I see it. It's a big ass black box; you think I'd miss this? No, I have not missed it, just stay where I left you, you idiot." Getting the box out from the little hole it's been wedged in is a pain; Danny bangs his hand against some of the rafters around him, cursing at the sharp flare of pain from a moderately minor bump and blaming the girl's body again. It takes a fair amount of wiggling and twisting for Danny to get back to the drop and have the black case with him.

"You okay?" Steve's hand comes up to help Danny down, and he's fairly certain Steve meant to grab his hip, but somehow managed to end up with the palm of his hand flat against Danny's ass. It sort of rests there for a while before Steve seems to realise that he's pretty much groping Danny's ass and he slides his hand along until it's resting at the base of Danny's spine, offering support as Danny drops back to the floor, holding the black case above him.

"Heavy, take it." Steve's hands pretty much shoot out to take the weight from Danny, shifting it towards the middle of the sparse room. "Should we really be opening this? I mean, what if it's got-" Danny doesn't even get to finish speaking before Steve has the slots on the case unclipped and lifts up the lid carefully.

"Holy shit." And just from looking at it, Danny thinks it's safe to say this case just got way more complicated. There are around about twenty sticks of dynamite laid out in the case, cushioned carefully in the case with sawdust and cling film. "So we should call the bomb squad."

00

They leave the apartment to the bomb squad, already snapping their photos for later and sent copies to Chin. The depot company don't transport dynamite at all, so now they have the origin of that to track down along with the stolen explosives.

"We got a hold of Ratcliff and Maeve's personal belongings, we've got cell phones. Chin is running them now; see if we can't find something there." Kono tells them, Steve and Danny making the drive back from Waimalu now that the apartment is cleared and their other locations appear to be dead ends.

"Have HPD put units on each of Maeve's properties. He might've been using them for something, see if something comes up."

"Will do boss, uh-" they can hear something the background on Kono's end, and Steve seems willing to wait and see if it's something important, "how's Danny doing?" Danny throws his hands up in the air, sighing.

"You ah, you're on speaker, Kono."

"Oh." Danny just nods and glares out the window.

"Danny's doing fine. We'll be back soon as."

The silence lasts out for about five minutes, and Danny's okay with that, because he's staring out the window and trying not to look at his very not his own face reflected in the glass. He keeps having to push his hair out of his face and pretty soon he'll just give up and request a band from Kono to tie it back. He can't wear his watch because it's too damn big, he hates not having his own clothes on and the flip-flops just annoy him.

"She's just worried, you know."

"I know." And really, Danny does. Because this freaks everyone out, not just him. He's been a girl for a day and already he feels hormonal. "I'm just- I'm having a quiet freak out, okay? Can I just have that? Please?"

"Danny, we're going to fix this." Steve seems to think that if he wills it hard enough he can fix anything. Danny doesn't know how it's possible to fix something that shouldn't even have been possible at all. But there he was, very female and life kept going.

"Sure we are."

"No, hey, we are. We'll wrap up this case, we'll find that crazy old bat, we'll get this fixed. You'll be yourself again in no time." Steve's hand pats Danny's thigh in what is probably meant to be reassuring and Danny just nods.

"Alright, fine," scrubbing his hands over his face, startled at the lack of bristle from facial hair and the small size of his hands, Danny sits back in the seat, facing forward. "So, Maeve probably isn't the innocent victim in all this. We're going to need to figure out if more shipments of explosives went missing or came up short."

Kono and Chin are way ahead of them in that regard. When they reach HQ, Chin has the phone records out and Kono's already going through the inventory for all of Maeve's previous deliveries. Around mid-afternoon they catch a break on a van rental, leading them into a chase through some more backass roads and shanty town like huts along the side of the mountain and Danny finds holding the control on his stomach is just a little harder while he's unfamiliar with the female body.

"Please don't kill us, please don't kill us, please don't kill us." Steve just ignores the way that Danny clings to the door and pushes his knees against the dash and clenches his eyes closed as they take a turn and oh, God they are that close the edge, ready to tumble down the side of the mountain in a fiery ball of metal and leather. It's not like when they were work Kono's mentors murder, it's not like when they were chasing the serial killer up the cliff top either. They're in the squad car they borrowed at the bottom of the mountain, and the sirens are giving Danny a headache and Steve isn't getting the speed he wants and they end up skidding into a full donut and the only reason the actually stop the suspects from fleeing is because the squad car skids into the side of the other car, nudging it into the side of a tree and pinning it there with the rear end.

Danny feels a little green around the edges and Steve just stares out the front of the car, shocked and confused.

"You are so lucky this is not my car." Danny has to get out, has to stumble out to stand on shaky legs and lean against the car while the two idiots in the fleeing car scrabble to try and get out. "So when I'm telling you we're too close to the edge and that we're not going to get in front of them and that you are not driving a race car, what the hell are you hearing? Because it is clearly not anything like what I am saying."

HPD finally make it, catching up with them and stopping to look at the mildly damaged squad car. Steve's the one who is explaining that, just like Steve was the one explaining 'yeah, it's still Williams, don't ask, it involves a crone and a curse' earlier on.

Once they get their two rabbits out of the car, shaking and scared, it's pretty easy to push them for information on the rest of the operation they're working on. Danny's feathers are soothed just a little when they seem to baulk in the face of his ire even though he feels very none threatening. They give up everything they can in a fast ramble of information; a date for the entire loot to be shipped to the mainland, the plans to sell on the black market to the highest bidder, the plans to converge in a warehouse not far from the port, even offering out names for Steve and Danny to run.

The only problem was getting HPD to give up a squad car to drive back to the Camaro. "Can you blame them? C'mon, look at what you did. I don't like letting you drive." One of the female officers actually laughs at them before handing Danny her keys.

"Seriously, don't let him drive." And Danny just agrees, because he had no intention of it. They don't have to rush down the mountain, and Danny would like to not have to pry himself out of the car again.

Steve sulks.

00

Running all the information they're given, they organise a sting for the next day, planning to take the warehouse and get everyone before they ship off for the mainland. SWAT is called up to be the backup and the Governor is briefed on the plans, and frankly, Danny thinks that looks like a fun conversation from the way Steve's forehead gets steadily more pinched.

When they suit up the next day, after pouring over surveillance of the warehouse and planning out every single inch of the bust like they never really have before, Danny notices the way that Steve keeps glancing over his way. "What?" It's like Steve's been avoiding something since they decided what they were going to do to handle this, the way he's just been ignoring the elephant in the room.

"Maybe you should hang back."

"Seriously, do not." Because Danny can handle having panic attacks, he can handle having to explain to HPD that yes, he is still Detective Williams, he's just a girl for now, Danny can even handle all the stupid girl stuff that comes with this pain in his ass. But he is not about to let Steve bench him because of it. "I am not in the mood to deal with you suddenly being a chivalrous asshole, I am still your partner and I will still punch you in the face."

He gets it, he really does. Because he spent a few hours earlier with Kono making sure he could still handle his firearm, he even let her show him a few decent moves to catch someone off guard that he probably wouldn't have managed to do in his own body. Any other time, the fact that Steve was actually being cautious would be a win in Danny's case, but not right there.

"I will be fine," not just because he is perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but because Chin, Kono and Steve probably won't take their eyes off him while they're out. "Let's just get this done so we can fix me, yeah?"

Never that easy.

00

The bust on the warehouse goes smoothly and according to plan with no incident for exactly fifteen minutes. They take the place almost silently; there are no explosions, minimal resistance and no shoot outs. It's a quiet day at the office really. They get the ring leader, they get all the explosives back along with some previously undisclosed chemicals and another case of dynamite.

The whole thing is over in ten minutes.

It's only after everything is taken care of when the shit hits the fan. Several of the perps are Hawaiian natives, Danny's heard the word '_haole_' more times in the past five minutes than he had in his entire stint with the HPD. One in particular doesn't seem all that pleased that he's being herded in by, not only a _haole_ but a woman on top of it.

"You really gonna regret touching me, little lady. Got friends all over the place, ain't gonna take much, one word from me and your pretty little _haole_ ass is mine."

"Yeah, yeah. I'll look out for you buddies; you enjoy your eight by ten cell now." Danny gritted out, pushing the guy forward again.

"Last warning, wahine." And Danny knows that if he was himself this would not be an issue, rolling his eyes Danny doesn't fold under the threats, although he does see Steve striding towards them. It's possibly because he's looking over at Steve that he doesn't move in time to avoid the elbow coming towards his face.

It's the crack and sting that annoys him the most, and apparently things hurt a little more as a chick, because an elbow to the cheek never hurt this much as a guy. Pain flares out over his cheek and the whole right side of his face, there's a thump and a moan and Danny manages to pull himself upright to see Steve pressing the assholes face into the hood of the squad car. Ignoring the stinging of tears in his eyes, Danny decides that it is well past time for them to get out of there.

"Steve," except Steve has suddenly gone deaf and they are drawing an audience, "Steven." It's that firm tone that catches McGarrett's attention and Danny just holds his face and glowers. "Pass him off and let's get the hell out of here, yeah?" Steve looks like he's ready to find a roof to dangle the guy off of, or actually feed him to sharks for real. "Steve!" But the guys already had his Miranda rights read to him and they are already skirting the edge of civil right violations as it is.

Steve growls something, Danny's not sure if it's just a growl or if he is actually saying something, before letting a jittery looking Officer Kahale take over. Danny doesn't get the chance to walk away himself, because Steve pretty much takes him over to the Camaro; hand pressed to the back of Danny's back, splayed out over the Kevlar vest, other hand holding lightly to Danny's elbow as Danny keeps his hand on his face.

They're standing beside the Camaro, and Steve isn't going around to the drivers side, he's sort of hovering in front of Danny, which is when Danny realises that Steve is blocking them from everyone else's view, despite them being well out of the way. "Let me see." And Danny really shouldn't just give in, but the tone doesn't leave room for argument, even from Danny. Steve just lowers Danny's hand, a light grasp on Danny's wrist.

"It's just sore, okay, its fine. Caught me off guard is all." But it's not just sore, it's damn agony and he's totally blaming these stupid woman hormones for the fact that he actually wants to cry. Steve just reaches up to run his fingers very carefully over Danny's cheekbone.

"He could've broken something." For some reason, Steve is whispering, not looking in Danny's eyes and being very careful with his fingers, barely touching Danny's skin but leaving a kind of tingle in its wake. "It's gonna bruise for sure."

"Can we go get an ice pack then? I'd rather not have my face all swollen and shit." Steve's hand drops back to his side and Danny's so off kilter he can't even bring himself to complain when Steve opens the door for Danny. The drive back to HQ is quiet because Danny spends most of the time trying to focus on his breathing and not bursting into tears.

Kono and Chin arrive back just after them, Steve's already got Danny sitting at the table with an ice pack on his face and a glass of water sitting in front of him. "We bring post-bust celebration food." Kono announces, sliding a box of food over the table with a grin, "Damn Danny, you run into a door?" Kono wisely drops the subject when Steve growls -_fucking growls_- and Danny glares, although it is half-hearted. "I got you pizza."

And it's a blessing that no one is fucking around with him, there's no pineapple anywhere near Danny's pepperoni pizza. They sit like that, talking through the bust, Kono relating the tale of just what happened on the other side of the warehouse where Chin and Kono took out any fleeing suspects. They're only interrupted by the sound of the Governor clearing her throat by the door, looking extremely unamused.

"Would someone care to explain why I have calls from the DA's office complaining about the complaints they are getting about police brutality?" And Danny really knew this day was coming, he did.

"With all due respect, Governor, the guy nearly broke Danny's jaw." Steve makes it sound like he was well within his rights, but Danny notices the way he's standing, as if he's ready to face a firing squad.

"Where is Detective Williams?"

"Um, hi." Danny waves a hand, leaning over the back of his chair, twisting to face the Governor. She sort of stares at him for a long while before glancing to Steve who seems to confirm that Danny is telling the truth –not to mention the rather large bruise spreading over his face that corroborates the elbow to the face story.

"I need a drink for this." Jameson pulls up a seat, steals some of Danny's pizza and listens to Steve try to explain how Danny went from male to female and how they are handling it. Chin throws in a few explanations that Danny remembers hearing but didn't follow the first time nevermind the second time. Jameson seems to buy it, after watching Danny and Steve argue about civil rights and how really, Steve didn't need to slam that guy so hard.

Governor Jameson, Pat, actually squeezes in some time to talk to Danny on his own. She's incredibly cool about the whole thing, and reassures him that if he needs to take some time, that's okay. She offers an ear to talk to if things get too much, even gives Danny the number for a therapist, because holy shit he's going to need one, before she tells him that she knows some good places to shop that might be more his style and that Danny should call her.

Danny has officially slipped into the Twilight Zone. Or a coma.

00

Danny struggles through being a woman for five days. By the sixth day he's ready to just give up. Everyone at HPD knows by now; explaining it to Toast on the third day was pretty difficult since he was baked at the time, but Danny's pretty sure he can get more out of Toast this way than just with the candy before.

Danny also has to explain things to Rachel. He takes Steve with him as back up, because he's still not sure how the hell Rachel would react and if Steve can explain it for him, that would be great too. She doesn't believe it at first, and Danny has to prove it with stories that only he would know and he might get a bit of a kick out of going into a little too much detail when Stan is just over there and definitely listening.

Danny isn't surprised that Rachel is just as hostile and he almost caves when she suggests that maybe Grace shouldn't stay with Danny next weekend because clearly this would just confuse her. But Steve's pretty adamant that Grace can handle it and really, its part of the Hawaiian culture and Grace is fascinated by it, she'll probably handle it better than anyone else. They leave Rachel's with Danny's weekend with his daughter already planned out.

He didn't bother telling Rachel that he's been living at Steve's since the whole thing started.

When it became apparent that Danny was going to have to deal with being a female, he decided that another breakdown was in order. Completely barricading himself in Steve's guest room seemed like the best idea and Steve seemed willing to leave him to it at first. Danny made it to noon before Steve was knocking on the door and trying to coax him out and talking all this bullshit calming stuff that Danny figured he'd probably talked to Kono or called Catherine again. By three, Steve's kicked down the door and Danny is blubbering, sniffling mess on the floor.

He has to call his Mom in a few days for her birthday, and he really doesn't know how he's not going to ruin her birthday, because how the hell can he tell her that he's a woman and not a man anymore and it's all Hawaii's fault? How is he supposed to deal with Grace because now he's really not her father because he doesn't even look male? How the hell is he supposed to-

Steve just sits with him, arm around Danny's shoulders letting his sob against Steve's chest until he exhausts himself and then he's pliant as Steve picks him up and leaves him lying on the bed until he falls asleep.

They never mention this, ever.

Following the complete breakdown, Danny caves and calls Governor Jameson –who still insists that Danny call her Pat, and asks about those shops for clothes. This is how he spends the day with Pat, finding pant suits and blouses and shoes that are suitable for work but not heels. Pat is actually very good company, and Danny can actually talk about how messed up he's feeling right then. She doesn't feed him any lines, doesn't try to convince him that it's all fixable. She just nods and smiles and tries to give him advice without being too harsh about it.

She invites him out to lunch the following week, so long as there are no pressing cases. Danny actually looks forward to it.

Steve isn't impressed with the work clothes. Danny tells him to go fuck himself. Danny stopped short of actually buying suits. He's got lightweight pants –because Pat convinced him that heavy was not the way to go, and a few blouses. He does still roam around in a few of Mary Ann's jeans –who had given him her blessing in keeping them, although she seemed a little miffed when she declared they looked better on him.

What pisses Danny off the most is Steve and his protective asshole nature. It would be nice; Steve not rushing into hot crime scenes without back-up, Steve not recklessly endangering their lives, Steve not throwing them off cliffs to catch the bad guy. Except Steve does it all on his own rather than actually waiting for Danny now. They have a screaming match in the house the day that Steve gets shot in the arm because he didn't wait for Danny and the only thing that halts it is Danny's vague feeling that he's done this before. And he has, but it was with Rachel and he'd been the one shot. Danny leaves the house, walks to office and stays there all night. Steve apologises the next morning, and Danny is more than aware that Steve does not know what he's apologising for, but he stops with the lone ranger shit, so Danny leaves it.

00

"So, what do I call you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're not Daddy anymore," and that makes Danny's heart just ache right there and then, "but you're still my daddy. So, what do I call you?"

"Danno, okay? You just call me Danno." They're in Steve's back, building sandcastles while waiting for Steve to cook the burgers and then Steve and Grace are going for a swim while Danny tries to keep his blood pressure under control. "And it won't be permanent, okay?" Although it really is starting to feel like it might be.

"Okay Danno. I still love you though, whatever you look like." Grace gets up off her knees and hugs Danny tightly, and Danny hugs back just as tight.

Their weekend goes well. Steve takes them to the beach and they explore a few of the coves, Grace enjoys herself immensely and Danny even relaxes through it. He's mistaken for Grace's mother and doesn't bother saying anything, Steve gets quiet when he's mistaken for her father and Danny doesn't bother poking fun at it.

Dropping her back at Rachel's on the Sunday is just as hard as always, although Rachel actually appears to make an effort.

"Any problems?"

"No, why would there be a problem?"

"With the situation?"

"No," and Danny has to admit, Steve was right, Grace just rolled with the fact that Danny now appeared female like it was common occurrence, nothing was different between them, "she was fine."

"Yes, well." Rachel gives him a look, and Danny has no idea what it means, at all. When she's back in the house, Danny turns to Steve, frowning. He waits until they're in the car and driving away to bring it up.

"Did you see that look? Did you? I mean, seriously, it's like she blames me for this, as if I can help what the hell happened. Like I'm enjoying it." Steve lets Danny rant for a good five minutes before he interjects.

"She's probably just jealous."

"Jealous? Because she wanted to be the one that got the gender reassignment from the batty old woman?"

"No, because, well, because you're, you know. You're more attractive than her." And that, right there, leaves Danny speechless. He could comment on the wild blush on Steve's cheeks, he could make a remark about Steve having checked out Danny's ex-wife in order to make that comparison, he could also point out that Steve really shouldn't be checking Danny out. Instead, he's stuck on the point.

"You think I'm hotter than Rachel?" Danny is well aware of just how attractive Rachel is, he was married to her. In his opinion –even when he hates her, she is an amazingly attractive woman. She's smooth and curved nicely, has wonderful hair and is just a full package of what Danny would class as hot tottie. And Steve, it seems, thinks that Danny is hotter than Rachel.

"Well, yeah." He says it as if it was common knowledge, and Danny does remember that Steve did try to hit on him the first time he saw him, but Danny has also seen Catherine –and that was an interesting night, and would've probably put Rachel and Cat in the same place as far as looks go while he would be elsewhere, in the 'cute but not overly so' category.

"Oh." He really doesn't know what to say beyond that.

00

By the time Danny has had his first menstrual cycle, and the resulting trauma for everyone, he's pretty sure this is his life now. A month as a woman really isn't a huge deal, when he really looks at it. There are probably men out there who would wish this was their life, Danny wasn't one of them, but he's learning how to deal. Kono is very accommodating about the whole thing, Pat is pretty great to talk to and even Catherine has been helpful.

The first time Danny had to go undercover, where they'd usually send Kono in but couldn't because she was clearly native Hawaiian and they needed a non-native (and really, he didn't care if they called him a _haole _when it came to this), Catherine was his personal shopper and then his personal dresser because he could not figure out the damn clasps on his stupid dress. Kono was in a mood, and Danny figured it was because she was back-up, so Catherine was the one pouring him into the near skin tight satin corset dress.

"Why do women wear this?" Danny's ribs hurt where the bones dug in and his feet were already sore from the heels and God his boobs were just popping out to say hello. "Is this really the right size?"

"Yes, it's supposed to look like that. I thought maybe you'd appreciate it as a guy."

"Looking at me in it, sure. Being me in it, not so much." Cat just laughed and started on his hair.

"Steve says you're starting to mellow out about this. You don't think they'll fix it?" It doesn't surprise Danny that Steve talked to Catherine about this, he's pretty sure that Steve called Catherine for advice when Danny was PMSing and Mary Ann had just laughed her ass off on the phone when he'd called her. And Catherine's been over a few times since Danny essentially moved in; Danny knows that they have to have some kind of small talk between their rounds.

"Does it seem likely? It's been a month and a half, I'm gearing up for another bout of mood swinging, I've been mani-pedi'ed with my ex-wife, I've gone for waxes with my ex-wife. Does it really seem like I'm ever going to be a guy again?" He probably shouldn't be as comfortable with it as he is, he should probably just lock himself up and be done with it, but it's becoming strangely easy to just adapt to things.

"I think you're handling it really well." Catherine gives him a supportive smile from over his shoulder, meeting his eyes in the mirror and giving his bare shoulder a small squeeze. "I mean, you can actually walk in those heels, that is just amazing considering."

"Do not get me started, these things are torture devices. I mean, seriously, what is with you women and the masochism? Waxing, the dresses, the heels, the hair treatments. It's insane."

Catherine drops him off at HQ, because although he can walk in the heels, he cannot drive in them. It's annoying that even with an extra four inches; he still only comes up to just above eye level with Steve. "You, um, you look great." Danny just waves a hand, because Steve's compliment routine to make him feel more secure in being a female has sort of worn off on him.

"Is Kono around?" Steve points Danny to Kono's office, where the officer in question is being particularly harsh with her keyboard. Danny's a little weary about walking into her office and it probably shows, since she raises her eyebrow in an expression Danny knows she learned from Steve. "Hey, you ah, you got a minute?"

"Why? Come to go over the plan again? Like I don't know what's happening?" Danny gets the vague sense that this is not about the back-up thing. Closing the door, Danny just stands where he is by the door. "It's fine, Detective," and wow, he's not heard it spat like that in a good long time, "I'll be able to manage."

"Um, actually I was going to ask a little advice."

"What?" Kono seems completely derailed and Danny's about three seconds from kicking off the shoes and hiding in the ladies room, because the one time he did it in the men's room was one hell of a fiasco.

"I'm pretty sure I'm gonna fuck this up," Danny admits, "I mean sure, undercover, done that. But seriously, I'm still learning the woman stuff and you make it look easy but I am freaking out here, okay." Danny played it off as just another assignment earlier when they said he'd have to be the UC this time, unless they wanted to pull in someone else. He'd been hiding the nerves all afternoon. "How the hell do you do this without inducing a heart attack?"

"Oh, Danny." Kono's whole mood shifts and she comes around the desk to pull him into the seat there in front of it, "Don't worry, we'll have your back. That's all you focus on, okay? Trust the team, that's all I have to do when it's me."

"You ah, you're not mad at me, right?"

"No, well, yeah. For a minute there. Kind of thought y'know, you'd figured that if I could do it, you could do it and whatever. Don't worry brah, its cool." Danny's pretty certain Kono's going through her own PMS now. He makes a mental note to bring her something sugary in the morning.

00

The annual HPD barbecue falls three months after Danny's gender shift. Everyone seems to think it's completely natural now and it's as if Danny was never a guy in the first place. It would piss him off if it didn't put him at ease. No one made a big deal out of it, everyone just brushed it off. Even when he turned up to the barbecue with Kono, wearing one of Mary Ann's ridiculously short denim skirts and a green button cami vest. Danny is sure his ass is showing, the skirt is only three inches long, but Kono declares that it shows off his legs, and really, he went through the pain of waxing them, he really needs to show them off.

Danny gets hit on by three separate guys he used to work with. It's not until one of the IA guys puts his hand on Danny's ass that things get a little weird. Agent Kaoao starts by making small talk with Danny at the shave ice stand, and Danny just rolls with it. He'd never dealt with Kaoao before so he didn't think there was any problem. Until Kaoao's hand slides along the back of Danny's thigh, stroking skin before smoothing up over the denim skirt and resting on the swell of Danny's butt.

The smarmy, sleazy smirk on Kaoao's face is quickly removed, along with his hand, as Steve appears almost out of nowhere. Danny actually finds the ninja wrist snap move pretty impressive when it's used on someone else.

"I don't think your hand is meant to be there." Steve all but growls, and really Danny has to stop liking that sound. Kaoao just splutters and whines and eventually Steve lets go. There's a glare on the IA agents face as he turns, almost ready to threaten probably. Danny just holds a shave ice out for Steve.

"I got you a pineapple one, Commander. I know how you love your pineapple." It's amusing how quickly Kaoao skitters off, muttering to himself and Danny tries to not think about the whole display as he and Steve head back over to the table that Kono and Chin commandeered for the 5-0 unit.

Danny notices from there on out, anytime someone so much as comes near Danny, Steve glares. It's a lot of information to handle; Steve is possessive, to the point of almost breaking a member of IA's hand; Danny is not adverse to this possessive nature like he really should be, and Kono and Chin seem to find it endlessly entertaining.

Danny really does hate his life some times.

00

They get back to the house after midnight, the barbecue ended long before that, but the team decided to go out for drinks afterwards and if they are called in early in the morning criminals are going to deal with four rather hungover special task force members. Danny is especially hoping for a very long lie in.

"Chin doesn't tell it right," Steve's still protesting to the story of Steve's failed pick up attempt three weeks ago. "I'm telling you, she was gay, that's all."

"Sure, Smooth Dog, that's the only reason her knees didn't go weak when you gazed into her eyes." Danny's already toed off his shoes, ready to hit the sheets and sleep forever, despite the fun buzz going on in his head from the alcohol. Kono convinced him to drink a few of the fruity little cocktails, because he was a chick, no one would bat an eyelid, and Danny's sure that they're so much worse than straight liquor.

"You know what," and Steve doesn't finish his sentence, he just grabs Danny's arm and pulls him around to face Steve. Danny's chest is pressing against Steve's and it's impossible not to raise his hands to Steve's hips just to steady himself. Steve still has one hand on the bend of Danny's elbow, the other moving up to slide his fingers through Danny's fringe and press it away from his face. They just stand there, and Danny does feel a little weak in the knees, staring up at Steve and feeling the soft exhale of breath over his face. When Danny absently licks his lips, Steve's gaze slides down and Danny feels his gut clench in apprehension and skin tingles all over.

"Okay, sure, yeah." Danny forces himself to push away from Steve, licking his lips again and hoping to hell that his voice doesn't shake, "Point taken, Smooth Dog." And Danny beats a hasty retreat up the stairs, going straight to the bathroom to splash cold water on his face. How the hell he got to the point where Steve McGarrett made his knees go weak he had no idea, but he really needed to get himself under control before he really did something stupid.

Five minutes talking himself down in the bathroom, Danny takes a breath and opens the bathroom door to go to bed, startled to find Steve just standing there outside the bathroom. There's a few words on his lips, he's pretty sure of it, he definitely had something to say about creepy ninja skills and heart attacks, but he doesn't get it out because Steve just muscles Danny back up against the wall and actually bends down to kiss him.

It's so beyond weird, because Steve's stubble scratches against Danny's smooth jaw and Steve's hands grip at the slim curve of Danny's waist and hell, Danny wraps his arms around Steve's neck and just goes with it. His mouth falls open under Steve's and there's this ridiculously sexy growl rumbling from Steve's chest as his tongue tastes the cocktails and chicken wings in Danny's mouth. Danny can't keep his hands still; sliding through Steve's hair, stroking at the curve of his throat and jaw, smoothing over his chest, running along his side. There's just all this skin, right under the clothes and Danny really wants to get his hands on it.

There's no complaint from Danny when Steve slides his hands under Danny's thighs, boosting him up to spread his legs around Steve's waist, pushing the tiny denim skirt further up his hips and bringing them to the same height as Steve pushes Danny into the wall and Danny stays attached to Steve's mouth. He breaks off with a harsh gasp as Steve rocks his hips into Danny's, pure pleasure flaring between Danny's legs and the heat just spreading. "Shit, Steve," its pure madness, because this is _Steve _and Danny really likes Catherine, and he knows that those two are just casual but hell it's a lot of complicated mess. Not to mention Danny isn't meant to be into this at all, but fuck if he isn't so into it he feels like he might explode without it.

Steve nips and sucks on Danny's neck, undoubtedly leaving marks and Danny cannot bring himself to care because Steve's got a hand under his shirt, thumb stroking over Danny's nipple through the bra and it's triggering all sorts of pleasure bursting down his spine. Nails digging into the back of Steve's neck, Danny rocks his hips back to meet Steve's whimpering slightly. There's one of those low growls from Steve's throat before Danny finds himself pulled away from the wall, legs locking around Steve's waist as he stumbles towards his bedroom with Danny wrapped around him.

The air leaves Danny's lungs as Steve drops him on the bed, Steve bracing himself just above Danny, dipping to mouth over the hollow of his throat before moving down. Danny's legs are spread around Steve's hips as he kneels on the bed between Danny's thighs, pressing in just slightly on occasion and making Danny mewl in need. The front of Danny's cami-vest is ripped open, Steve not having the patience for the buttons, Steve's mouth hot against the swell of Danny's breast. Tugging the cup of the bra down, Steve's hands slide over the exposed skin of Danny's torso, thumbs counting ribs on the slide up, mouth closing over Danny's nipple. When Steve bites just slightly, Danny's whole body jerks, hands tightening in Steve's hair and his thighs clenching around his hips.

Everything spins for a second as Steve hauls Danny up again, sitting him astride Steve's hips as Steve pulls the vest back off Danny and then goes for the clasp of the bra. Danny busies himself inspecting the inside of Steve's mouth while Steve strips them. There seems to be some sort of hardwire of electricity between Danny's nipples and his crotch, which is weird, because it never happened before Steve took an interest. Danny's a total wreck and Steve is still fully dressed and it really doesn't seem fair. Steve's halfway down Danny's stomach when Danny tries to pull the idiots shirt off, rueful that this is the one occasion Steve seems willing to keep his shirt on.

"Off, Steve, c'mon, get this off." God, his voice is just completely gone, but Steve pulls the shirt off and tosses it to the floor before leaning over Danny again, and if it wasn't such a turn on it would be suffocating, being caged in under Steve. Leaning down on his elbows, Steve all but melds their bodies together, pressing his chest into Danny's, nudging his chin back to give Steve's mouth access to Danny's throat again.

The kisses run down Danny's throat, over his chest and along his stomach until Steve reaches the top of the skirt. With his hands under Danny's ass, Steve lifts Danny's hips and reaches round with one hand to undo the button and zip and tug the skirt off Danny's hips. It's around about now that Danny gets just a little panicked, because he's practically naked, with Steve between his legs, and Danny is just _aching _for it. It feels so weird, that arousal, because he's used to a boner, not this wet, sticky, hot feeling between his legs. Nibbling on his lower lip, Danny jerks and gasps as Steve's nose presses against the panties, Steve's hands stroking up Danny's thighs and coaxing him into opening his legs wider. Danny's heart is beating a million miles a minute as Steve teases just a little before slowly peeling the last of Danny's clothes away, leaving him spread out on the bed and feeling completely exposed.

"Jesus, fuck, Danny," Danny's comfort at Steve sounding just as wrecked as him is shattered in an instant as Steve's tongue flicks between his legs, swiping a hot line up the folds of Danny's vagina and wringing a gasp and jerk out of him. Danny's hand all but flies to the top of Steve's head, as Steve holds Danny's thighs open and fucks him with his mouth. It's just a little scratchy; Steve's stubble grazing over the insides of his thighs, but the steady thrum of pleasure and the burning coil of heat is distracting enough that the scrape from the facial hair isn't something Danny's focusing on.

Danny suddenly feels so horrible for every shorting any girl out on this, the way Steve licks into him, the slight sting of teeth, then Steve slides a finger inside, closing his mouth over Danny's clit and flicking his tongue while stroking his finger up inside him. When Steve gives a light suck, Danny's whole world collapses as he jerks, muscles clenching, body going rigid and a low moan is wrung out of him. Everything gets sensitive in a rush, making Danny twitch away from the touch.

Slowly drawing away, Steve crawls back up Danny's body and he has to fight the urge to clench his legs closed as Steve's jeans brush the inside of his thighs. The kiss is oddly sweet, Danny tasting himself on Steve's tongue as Steve keeps it soft and gentle. But Danny can feel the hard press of Steve's cock against his stomach. Reaching between them, Danny is just a little bit hesitant at unfastening Steve's cargos, Steve notices, grabbing Danny's wrist in a loose grip.

"Hey, you don't need to-" Danny kisses him to shut up him, shaking his hand free and carrying on in taking off Steve's clothes. Steve has to pull back to push out of his clothes, standing at the edge of the bed, staring at Danny. "How do you want to do this?" Danny can't form the words, so he leans up, hands on Steve's shoulders to pull Steve down, thighs spreading around Steve's hips again and rocking his pelvis up to brush Steve's cock at the edge of his vagina. Steve practically groans from that alone, "Okay, okay."

There's a slight scurry as Steve pulls open a bedside drawer, pulling out a condom and quickly sliding it on and Danny's heart leaps into his throat as Steve positions himself. He knows he wants this, he so far past wanting it there is no way he can't have it now, but there's still this nervousness in his gut. Steve hovers over Danny, leaning down for a quick, soft kiss before opening up Danny's leg with one hand, still resting on his elbow beside Danny's head. The first press in makes Danny hiss a little, one hand clenching on Steve's shoulder, the other tugging lightly at the back of Steve's head, Danny turning his face into Steve's neck and whimpering slightly at the stretch and slight ache.

"Hey," Steve pulls back slightly, pressed all the way in and looking down at Danny with concern, "okay?"

"Yeah," but there's a tightness in Danny's voice that even he can hear and Steve doesn't look convinced, "it's just, well, I've not exactly done this before, have I?" Steve's face sort of flits between extreme arousal –and yeah, Danny gets that, because Steve is probably going to be the only guy to fuck Danny like this, and then extreme concern.

"Shit, Danny," and if Steve had started to pull out, Danny was sure he'd kill the man. Instead, Steve does some insane ninja thing that shifts and moves them with minimal jostling, and Danny finds himself astride Steve's hips again, straddling Steve with his length still uncomfortably stretching inside him. "Here, like this."

Danny's got his knees either side of Steve's hips, and Steve's holding to Danny's hips to help steady him. The first rock of Danny's hips makes them both groan, and Danny finds that it does ease things. Steve's hands don't stay still, spreading all sorts of tingles through Danny, especially as his fingers skirt around Danny's crotch again, thumb dipping to tease at the clit while Danny's pace starts to build, the rhythm catching as the stretch becomes so much more pleasurable than uncomfortable.

It only gets better when Steve pushes himself up to sit, mouth against Danny's collarbone, hips jerking up into Danny as his thumb strokes over Danny's clit in time with the shift of their hips. The moans and gasps coming from Danny can't be helped, and he's never really been the quiet type anyway, as his orgasm builds and climbs again, Danny's nails dig into Steve's shoulders as his muscles clench again and he rides out the climax, moaning Steve's name.

Muscles tight, hips jerking against Steve's, it doesn't take long for Steve to follow Danny over the edge, grunting something that definitely sounds like Danny's name against Danny's throat. Legs like jelly, muscles sore and utterly exhausted, Danny doesn't fight when Steve tugs them both under the covers a few minutes later, when they've come down from the high and Steve's cleaned himself up a little.

They start off snuggled together, Danny facing into Steve's chest and Steve's arm possessively wrapped around Danny's waist, but as they both start to drift off, Danny's content to know that Steve sprawls out on his back, only keeping one hand near Danny, knuckles just lightly brushing against Danny's breast.

00

They're spared the awkwardness of a morning after with the Governor calling. Danny takes the shower first and then tries to find a shirt that covers the impressive hickey on his collarbone. He can't remember the last time he had a hickey, but he's pretty sure it was probably high school. Breakfast consists of coffee for Danny and pineapple juice for Steve –because he can't be normal like most people and drink orange juice.

Kono looks to be in about as good a mood as Danny, and Danny figures there might be something wrong with that, since he did get laid last night at least. What looks like it could be an abduction and murder by drugs turns out to be a simple drug overdose, one of the Governor's senate friends not taking the news that his son was a drug addict all that well. But the team close the case and Kono and Chin bail almost instantly.

"You uh, you want to grab something?" Danny does want to grab something, Danny wants to grab two handfuls of Steve McGarrett's ass and climb the bastard like a tree, but he really doesn't need to be doing that in the office, and Steve definitely doesn't need to know that Danny wants to.

"Sure." Hunger wins out over petulance though, and Danny isn't exactly expecting Steve to start talking about feelings, because Steve doesn't have a good track history of being open about things like emotions, and Danny is completely fine with that. Danny is not deluded enough to think he can go into competition with Catherine Rollins.

"So, about last night," but Steve is on a personal mission to destroy Danny's sanity, so it shouldn't be surprising.

"Listen, we don't need to talk about it, okay? We've been living together, and I'm sorry that happened, I didn't mean to get comfortable or anything, it wasn't meant to be permanent. But something was bound to give eventually, so it's fine." Danny is not looking up at Steve; Danny is resolute in his interest in his pancakes. "My place is long gone, so I'll look into somewhere else and I'll be out of your hair as soon as. I think we both know that this female body this is pretty much a given now."

"What? No." The heat that Steve puts into it makes Danny look up, and he's surprised to find Steve looking at him like he just sawed up his favourite shotgun. "I don't want you to move out, I don't- we're not just forgetting this, okay? That's not what I was getting at."

"You weren't?"

"No. I like having you around, I want to- I was hoping you'd want to, you know, try this out." For as long as Danny's known Steve, which is a good while now, Danny has never known Steve to show an interest in relationships. But then, they are already sort of living together, and even before Danny was a woman, they were acting like a married couple. "I don't care about the guy or girl thing, okay? I just, can we just try?"

"What about Cat?" Danny does not want to be on the wrong side of that woman, and considering the orgasms last night, it is possible that tying Steve down to someone that is not Catherine might put Danny on the side he just doesn't want to be on.

"If you would just hang around once in a while, you might notice that the last four times Catherine's come over, we've had dinner, and talked and Catherine left. No sex." And Danny had thought he was doing them a favour by leaving.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Steve doesn't have the kicked puppy look anymore, and Danny figures that maybe he's completely serious about this. "So? Can we? I mean, if you're comfortable with it?"

Danny's lost the words again, and he really needs to mind how often this happen, because Steve might end up getting ideas, and that would not be good. Instead of answering, Danny just leans over and kisses Steve in the middle of the diner.

00

Grace is ecstatic. Which pisses off Rachel because it took ages for Grace to even like Stan. But then Steve does his charming Commander thing and Rachel seems a little more okay with it.

"So, this woman thing is permanent?"

"I got waxed, Rach. I'm pretty sure this is it." And he's less annoyed with it than he should be. "Why?"

"No reason; just surprised that you had to wait until you were a woman before you shagged that partner of yours." And Rachel says it with a straight face, throwing a smirk over her shoulder as she walks away with Grace's hand in hers and Danny's left speechless again.

"Hey, you okay?" Steve's arm now automatically goes around Danny's waist. It's odd how comfortable it is to sit there, but Danny's found himself leaning into it just as automatically. If they ever start holding hands, Danny might freak out then.

00

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Hawaii 5-0 or any characters therein. This is not meant to be taken seriously; it's crack fic for a reason. No intentional stigma or discrimination/racism is intended in this writing. Crack. I say it again. Crack.


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